i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
