i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
