turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
