mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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