are you still at the devil's house?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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