i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
