I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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