this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
