that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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