Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
