i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
