Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
