Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
