The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize