Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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