already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My breasts were aching with rage.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
