Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
