My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
