i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
