Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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