were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Vodka?
Forever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize