You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
