People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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