C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
