True but thats because hes a fetus.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
