Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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