i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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