Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
