My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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