some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
