Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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