guys are not supposed to queef...right?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
