Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
