I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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