the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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