If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
