Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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