I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I checked into jail on foursquare
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
