he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
