I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
