for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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