ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am spending my child support on dildos
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
