I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
