i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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