this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize