Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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