we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
