Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize