Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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