I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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