can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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