apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize