You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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