is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Every concussion has its silver lining
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
