What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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