Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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