just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
