I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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