well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
