I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
