marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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