After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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