Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
