It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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