yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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