we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
