There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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