Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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