So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
