on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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