Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
