I smell stomach acid.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
