Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
