just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
