playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
